[ warmth blossoms in her chest that lexi trusts her. he was the first of the vampires to speak to her with any ease and he keeps her secret from dani too, which is something caroline shouldn't have asked but asked anyway desperate to be just a girl to the rest of the house.
not a monster. ]
I understand why he did it
If anyone I loved from home was here I would do pretty much anything to make sure they weren't in danger
( not an argument, so much as sympathy. alia hadn't deserved to have her power outed to a mob, guilt or otherwise. caroline doesn't deserve to be warped into a monster, prodded at the end of a pitchfork, for what she is. )
For what it's worth ... I know it looks bad, with Lestat and Louis. I knew everyone would accuse me of targeting them. But I don't have anything against what you are.
At least you don't handle me as though I've gone mad. Thank you.
( and she means it, with a significance that text can't convey, can't contain — too big in magnitude to be captured in a bottle. )
I won't forget about the others. I've asked someone I trust to look into Rhaenyra's death. Erik was dear to me, too. And Saxsice, and Grace ... They didn't deserve the violent end they found. I wouldn't wish it on anyone.
[ caroline remembers damon calling her hysterical, katherine, stefan, matt, tyler... damon stands out the most but it was never an uncommon occurrence in her life. she doesn't have time to dwell on it because every time she's reminded of saxsice's death it stops the breath in her lungs like katherine has the pillow held over her face all over again, the press of her fingers bruising through the thin, plasticky hospital pillow, the scratchy poly-blend pillowcase choking her, tearing under her nails.
it takes her some time to get past the squirming discomfort of memory, she hates the saxsice suffered the same fate, response delayed but turned bright and chipper. ]
If you need help I take really good notes! I can hear pretty much every conversation people are having in the room I'm in so I took a lot of notes while people were screaming at each other!
( imagining having to filter in every conversation in that room is its own nightmare scenario, for all that alina's response is good-humored. glazing over the frustration, the exhaustion, the guilt for having ever thought for a single moment caroline, in her helpfulness, might be grease the wheels of freeing alia from suspicion.
a sigh billows out of her, emptying her lungs. )
I'd like that. I would feel more helpful looking them over than sitting in bed. I'm not in much of a state to do a lot of the other work that needs to be done. But I'm not going to do nothing just because some prick thinks I must be too delicate.
[ caroline almost suggests healing her but if alina died in the game... she could never bear turning someone against their will. it is too dangerous to offer and caroline is too selfish. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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not a monster. ]
I understand why he did it
If anyone I loved from home was here I would do pretty much anything to make sure they weren't in danger
no subject
( not an argument, so much as sympathy. alia hadn't deserved to have her power outed to a mob, guilt or otherwise. caroline doesn't deserve to be warped into a monster, prodded at the end of a pitchfork, for what she is. )
For what it's worth ...
I know it looks bad, with Lestat and Louis. I knew everyone would accuse me of targeting them.
But I don't have anything against what you are.
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Honestly, you were the only one that actually took into account other people died, with Lestat at least.
[ sorry parisa she doesn't even know you, but someone killed saxsice and jace too! also jace's mom! and those other people...
look, look. LOOK. she doesn't care about the others. ]
no subject
( and she means it, with a significance that text can't convey, can't contain — too big in magnitude to be captured in a bottle. )
I won't forget about the others.
I've asked someone I trust to look into Rhaenyra's death. Erik was dear to me, too. And Saxsice, and Grace ...
They didn't deserve the violent end they found. I wouldn't wish it on anyone.
cw: suffocation
it takes her some time to get past the squirming discomfort of memory, she hates the saxsice suffered the same fate, response delayed but turned bright and chipper. ]
If you need help I take really good notes! I can hear pretty much every conversation people are having in the room I'm in so I took a lot of notes while people were screaming at each other!
😭
( imagining having to filter in every conversation in that room is its own nightmare scenario, for all that alina's response is good-humored. glazing over the frustration, the exhaustion, the guilt for having ever thought for a single moment caroline, in her helpfulness, might be grease the wheels of freeing alia from suspicion.
a sigh billows out of her, emptying her lungs. )
I'd like that. I would feel more helpful looking them over than sitting in bed.
I'm not in much of a state to do a lot of the other work that needs to be done.
But I'm not going to do nothing just because some prick thinks I must be too delicate.
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Do you maybe want to hit something first?
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( it's not advisable, in her state. it's also not advisable to vibrate around in anger like a small, feral dog. so: )
Are you going to draw a face on it first?
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