( it's a petty point to argue, maybe. she hadn't wanted to hurt him, but that want hadn't stayed her hand. it feels — significant to share, anyway. to exonerate herself from the crime of intentional cruelty, even as she's guilty of far worse. )
But this place ... I don't know what to think, anymore. I don't know what to trust.
but you did hurt him. with the sun. maybe you don't know how much that scares me, the idea of doing that to him. or maybe you don't know what an idiot he is about his weaknesses. but you did it. are you saying you did it because you didn't want to?
I'm saying I didn't want to be put in a position where I have to question someone I cared for. That I hated what I did, the moment it was done. That I wish I hadn't done it at all, but I did.
( some of us can control ourselves, she writes, sharpened to a cruel point. immediately backspaces, when the words on the screen knot her stomach into cramps. )
You want to punish me for it, clearly, so why don't you get it over with?
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
a lot of things are complex now. ]
i wish that you hadn't wanted to hurt him. but if it meant you were one less voice accusing him, i accept it.
i don't hate you, you're my friend.
i hate whoever tried to hurt you. that hasn't changed.
no subject
( it's a petty point to argue, maybe. she hadn't wanted to hurt him, but that want hadn't stayed her hand. it feels — significant to share, anyway. to exonerate herself from the crime of intentional cruelty, even as she's guilty of far worse. )
But this place ...
I don't know what to think, anymore. I don't know what to trust.
no subject
but you did hurt him. with the sun. maybe you don't know how much that scares me, the idea of doing that to him. or maybe you don't know what an idiot he is about his weaknesses. but you did it. are you saying you did it because you didn't want to?
i don't know who to trust now either.
no subject
( some of us can control ourselves, she writes, sharpened to a cruel point. immediately backspaces, when the words on the screen knot her stomach into cramps. )
You want to punish me for it, clearly, so why don't you get it over with?
no subject