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[peasant]

WELCOME TO THE SALTBURNT NETWORK

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myshka

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[peasant]

( well, okay. that escalated quickly. )

Surely there's a solution in-between "lie down and take it" and "destroy them all."

( surely. she hadn't shed a tear over vasily death, over tatiana or king petyr's exile, but — it still turns her stomach squeamish, no matter the lack of mourning she might spare the balfours, if they're merely another group of tyrants in the making. )

Even if you did, we might still find ourselves trapped here with no answers.
Be smart about it. Please.

[metalkinetic]

Not in my experience.

[ Sorry, Alina. The sexiest men have to have a matching crazy-scale. ]

I don't intend to be anything close to stupid.

[peasant]

Master of Stupidity wouldn't have quite the same ring to it.

( she's tired, bro 😔 )

Why do I have the feeling you wouldn't listen to me, anyway?

[metalkinetic]

I'll take it under advisement.

[ And file it under "nah". ]

[peasant]

Don't be an ass.

( affectionate but also derogatory. )

[metalkinetic]

Unfortunately, that's an impossible request.

[ He's been reliably informed. ]

[peasant]

( unseen, her lips twitch. don't have the audacity to make her laugh. )

Shall I add that to your growing list of titles?

[metalkinetic]

Erik Lehnsherr, aka Magneto, Master of Magnetism and known ass?

[peasant]

Personally, I would have gone with "notorious ass." It's more punchy.

[metalkinetic]

I'll add it to my introductions. If it adds to the reputation.

[peasant]

It would certainly stop anyone from bothering you when you're feeling like a curmudgeon.

( a small, heartbeat of a pause. she isn't convinced she wants to know, considering the colorful baggage she carries with her, every creative insult ever handed to her packed away in the attic of her memories, but — )

I'll let you return the favor.
If you were going to give me a title, what would it be?

[metalkinetic]

Daily, then.

[ Erik knows he's an asshole: he just doesn't care. ]

A title?
I certainly wouldn't call you an ass.
Schön.

[peasant]

Well, of course not. That's your title. I wouldn't ask you to share it.
I've been called worse things, besides.

(though there's a certain undercurrent to not knowing if schön should rank among the worst contenders, unfamiliar as it is to her tongue. she tests the heft of it, lets it roll around in her mouth like an unwieldy marble, until she learns the shape of its syllables.

then, inevitably victim to her curiosity: ) What does it mean?

[metalkinetic]

Haven't we all?

[ Erik doesn't want to dwell on the nastiness of the words used against him in the past. ]

Beautiful.

[peasant]

You don't have to flatter your way into my good graces, Erik.

[metalkinetic]

I don’t flatter. I tell the truth.

[peasant]

( in hindsight: possibly true. erik strikes her as a man more accustomed to the wielding honesty like the pommel of an axe — all blunt force applied to someone's skull to daze them. nothing so crafty as the wheedling she's experienced, waiting to see what good favor they can spin from her. still: )

Or you're leading up to requesting my services as a lantern the next time you stub your toe in the dark.

( a good-humored deflection, naturally. )

[metalkinetic]

[ Erik might be a master manipulator and adept at getting what he wants, but that tends to come more from brute force than from twisting words. When he says things, he means that, burning honestly that thrums through him. ]

I’m sure you’d be far more impressive than a lantern.

[peasant]

( why is this man so good at rereouting all of her evasive attempts 😔 )

You're right. I'm incredibly multifaceted.
I make for a good deterrent against frostbite, too.

[metalkinetic]

[ The natural fuckboy charisma. ]

I’ll keep that in mind if the weather takes a turn for the worse.

[peasant]

( rude and unfair, frankly. )

Well, I'll be in high demand if that's the case, I imagine.

( unspoken: what, and where, is her bribery payment. )

[metalkinetic]

I'll have to do something to earn your favour, won't I?

[peasant]

That's the general idea, yes.
Though I'm quite invincible against charm ( she says, like a liar — ) so I'm afraid you'll have to get creative.

[metalkinetic]

Given the nature of this place? I think I can be very creative.

[peasant]

I might argue the nature of this place makes it even more difficult to be creative. There isn't much that's in short supply.

( the daily menu tends to go a little like this, from what alina's witnessed: food, sex, more food, more sex. like a lantsov feast, if they were more openly depraved about their indulgences. )

It would have to be a very inspired offering.