I've never known a happy ending to be in the cards for anyone. Outside of books, I'm not still not sure they really exist.
( what does a happy ending look like, for alina starkov? hopeless. impossible. a fantasy she refuses to pen when she knows well how her story is meant to come to a close, and still — she dreams of stars in desert skies, the clasp of paul's hands in hers, hallways ringing with ticklish laughter and racing footsteps. a future too full to feel lonely, to feel empty. a future that would hurt too much to lose, like — having to surrender a vital organ, the impossibility of living without a heartbeat, until martyrdom puts her in the ground. )
All the time. But I'm more afraid there's nothing I can do to push it forward. That I'll set everything back, and prove I'm just like them, forced to make all of the same awful choices. I try not to think about it while we're here. I'm too selfish to let myself think about it.
And kicked. And maimed. And threatened to throw out of a moving carriage. Are you scared now? Is that the only reason you're bribing me with cake?
no subject
Outside of books, I'm not still not sure they really exist.
( what does a happy ending look like, for alina starkov? hopeless. impossible. a fantasy she refuses to pen when she knows well how her story is meant to come to a close, and still — she dreams of stars in desert skies, the clasp of paul's hands in hers, hallways ringing with ticklish laughter and racing footsteps. a future too full to feel lonely, to feel empty. a future that would hurt too much to lose, like — having to surrender a vital organ, the impossibility of living without a heartbeat, until martyrdom puts her in the ground. )
All the time. But I'm more afraid there's nothing I can do to push it forward.
That I'll set everything back, and prove I'm just like them, forced to make all of the same awful choices.
I try not to think about it while we're here. I'm too selfish to let myself think about it.
And kicked. And maimed. And threatened to throw out of a moving carriage.
Are you scared now? Is that the only reason you're bribing me with cake?